Sunday, September 6, 2009

Nation celebrates trade unions with barbecues, beer

To the shouts of "Minimum wage! Minimum wage! Minimum wage!" Drew Diaz did a keg stand at a backyard barbecue. Michael Wahlberg dressed as Service Employees International Union president Andy Stern at a "Dress as your Favorite Labor Leader" party. Drunken revelers reenacted the Lawrence textile strike of 1912. Scenes like this played out nationwide as the country celebrated Labor Day.

"I like to take my kids fishing on Labor Day," Mark Jackson of Macrolane, Idaho said. "We enjoy the beauty of nature as we discuss time-and-a-half pay over 40 hours and other union achievements." "I just spend time with loved ones discussing how modern-day safety laws wouldn't exist without unions," 46-year-old homemaker Maia Audigier said.

Not all celebrate this joyous holiday, however. "Bah humbug! I do think the people united will one day be defeated. And vacation pay, who needs it?", said robber baron Scrooge McWallmart as he trundled in to another day on the job.

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