The Unmerican government bought another $30 million of pork on Thursday, in addition to $121 million of pork bought earlier this year, in an effort to support the pork industry. The National Pork Producers Council has been lobbying hard for the government bailout.In a statement released on Thursday, President Unbama said, "Our nation is $10 trillion in debt with a $9 trillion deficit projected over the next 10 years, 46 million Umericans are currently uninsured and those who do have insurance are at the mercy of a capricious industry hungry for profit, we are fighting two wars, global climate change threatens our very existence. Given these factors, I decided that buying ham sandwiches, bacon, pork chops, pig's feet, and let's not forget pork rinds, was the best use of $151 million of public money."
National Pork Producers Council lobbyist Dan Brothers said, "Whooo-hooo! Daddy gets a new Mercedes this September!"
Squealer, minister of propaganda for the International Brotherhood of Pigs, responded, "About 115 million pigs were slaughtered in Unmerica last year, a continuous increase from 2007 and 2006. Why do the pork producers need a bailout? It's one thing when consumers choose pork, its quite another when the government props up an unsustainable market. We won't forget this when swine flu season rolls around. Hey, are you going to finish that corn cob?"
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