Unbama Gives Health Care Reins to Progress

With massive public support, Supreme Leader Unbama passes the baton of glorious health care reform to our national legislature, the Progress. Dominated by his own party, the Emocrats, and with strong unipartisan support, passage will likely be swift.

"Health care is horrible now...dominated by massive corporations that profit from denying coverage. Our government run plan doesn't have to turn a profit, just care for the sick. This is a real no brainer," said Emocrat Progress leader Pemori.

Divided Health Care's chief executive concurred, "We make massive amounts of money by monopolizing the industry and denying coverage. We're not surprised people would prefer to get taken care of when sick, as opposed to pay a lot of money for the dicey proposition of care when they fall ill. However, we'd still prefer to make massive amounts of money for doing very little, so we're opposing this legislation. I plead to the Unmerican people, please, I have three country clubs to keep paying dues to."

Repoblican party leader Nonexistent commented, "Of course we're against this. We're the other party, remember?"