Oil, coal industries to dissolve

After the introduction of Supreme Leader Barack Unbama's climate change legislation, the major oil and coal companies of our planet have decided to cease operations.

In a jointly worded statement, executives from the major oil and coal firms said, "Climate change is a real threat to our planet and our very existence. It is caused in part by the burning of decomposed dinosaur remnants and chunks of rock dug out of mountains. While these activities are highly profitable for us, it would be irresponsible to continue operation. We willingly forgo our multimillion dollar salaries, private jets, and mansions and will take a vow of poverty until we can find a more responsible way to earn a living."

Three of the four biggest corporations on the planet were oil companies. Their revenue alone was almost one trillion dollars.